CHAPTER 3 The Goals That Keep You Moving Forward（50min）
1.你的目标是 to be good 或是 to be better,会直接决定当你遇到困难时，你能继续往前走多久。
2.如果你的目标是to be good，你既会很容易被目标激励表现得非常好，也容易被未达成目标而进入自证预言地恶性循环。
@ 我身边确实有目标是to be good 的朋友，她们确实非常厉害，步步高升。可见有些时候to be good，是一个非常厉害的目标。
3.如果你的目标是to be better, 你会将你的注意力更多的放在你取得了哪些进步，获得了哪些提高。遇到问题时，也很少抱怨，而是更多地关注，我可以做些什么，去解决这个问题。所以这样的人，常常可以取得非常伟大的成功。
4.是 to be good 的目标还是 to be better的目标更适合你呢？
1） 当你的目标是to be good， 你会获得非常大的能量，去获得可以触及的好处。再加上这个目标如果不太难，也不太负责，你会很容易获益。
@回想，当时也是因为非常想要那本the rails way的书，所以各种反复写心得感受。
2）当你的目标是to be better时，如果你真的找到自己想要做的事情时，并且就算这个目标很复杂时，你也会持续地往前走，去证明你可以做好这件事情，并且获得进步。
1.They ask themselves what they are doing wrong, and they fix it.
1.Does it matter if your goal is to prove that you are good at what you do, or if instead it’s to grow and improve? Aren’t both kinds of goals motivating? Sure, they can be. But that motivation will look and feel very different.
@For example, the kind of goal you end up choosing will affect how interesting and enjoyable your journey to achievement will be. It will influence how prone you are to anxiety and depression, and how you handle it when you get hit with a bad case of the blues. Most important, it will determine not only how strong your motivation is, but how long you’ll persist when the going gets tough.
@When problems arise in your romantic relationships, do you focus on growing as a couple and learning from your mistakes, or on evaluating and judging your partner (and yourself)? In other words, is your goal to be good or to get better?
2.Psychologists who study achievement have been particularly interested in the differences that arise when people focus on performing well to demonstrate ability (being good) versus focusing on progress, growth, and gaining mastery (getting better).
3.When Your Goal Is to Be Good
1）Psychologists refer to the desire to be good—to show that you are smart or talented or capable, or to outperform other people—as having a performance goal.
2）We choose these goals in the first place because we think reaching them will give us a sense of validation—making us look and feel smart, talented, and desirable. And then we judge ourselves according to whether or not we are successful.“Performance goals are characterized by an all-or-nothing quality—you either reach the goal or you don’t.
@So not getting an A isn’t just disappointing in its own right, but it also means I’m not smart enough, not good enough.
3）Performance goals are very motivating， we find that people pursuing be-good goals work hard to do well and, under the right circumstances, are the highest achievers.
@Students with strong performance goals often get the highest course grades; employees with strong performance goals often are the most productive.
4)performance goals have a double-edged-sword quality—those ties to self-worth that make them so motivating are also what make them less adaptive when the going gets tougher.
@ If you think about it, this makes sense. When my goal is to get an A in a class and prove that I’m smart, and I take the first exam and I don’t get an A ... well, then I really can’t help but think that maybe I’m not so smart, right? Concluding “maybe I’m not smart” has several consequences, and none of them are good. First, I’m going to feel terrible—probably anxious and depressed, possibly embarrassed or ashamed. My sense of self-worth and self-esteem are going to suffer. My confidence will be shaken, if not completely shattered.
When you pursue the goal of being good, you can quite easily become a victim of a tragic self-fulfilling prophecy—believing that you don’t have what it takes, you stop trying, which dooms you to fail.
4.When Your Goal Is to Get Better
1）Psychologists refer to the desire to get better—to develop or enhance your skills and abilities—as a mastery goal.
2）When people pursue mastery goals, they judge themselves in terms of the progress they are making. becoming the best, most capable person you can be, rather than proving that you already are.
3)When we pursue mastery (get-better) goals, we are less likely to blame our difficulties and poor performances on a lack of ability, because that wouldn’t make sense.
@Instead, we look to other, more controllable causes. Am I putting in enough effort to learn this material? Should I be using a different strategy? Should I ask an expert for help? When people run into trouble in pursuit of get-better goals, they don’t get depressed and helpless like the be-gooders—they take action.
4)Get-better goals can sometimes lead to the greatest achievement, because people who focus on getting better rarely make the mistake of giving up too soon.
5.Which Goal Is Best for Me? it depends.
1）As I mentioned earlier, there are times when be-good performance goals seem to be more motivating than get-better mastery goals. People who are trying to prove that they are smart or worthy often approach a task with enormous energy and intensity. This turns out to be particularly true when tangible rewards are at stake.
！when you find something relatively easy to do, it’s very motivating to focus on giving the best possible performance and validating your goodness, and it will probably pay off for you.
2）It turns out people who are focused on trying to develop a skill are not that impressed by rewards. But when you are trying to demonstrate what you can do, it’s that much more motivating when high ability earns you something you really want.
！A very different picture emerges, however, when the road gets rockier—when people are dealing with unfamiliar, complex, or difficult tasks, with obstacles, or with setbacks. That’s where the advantages of focusing on growth over glory become clear.
1.减肥的时候，用to be good的目标，让自己可以快速看到效果。减下来后，用to be better的目标，让自己去证明自己可以持续的美丽。
1） to be good
2）to be better